FAKE NEWS DONE RIGHT ===============================>>>>>>>> If it's on the internet, then it must be true.
Monday, October 15, 2018
The World's Most Advanced Mathematics Says 2+2 Does Not Actually Equal 4
This is considered a key part of the calculation. However,
it is only one page out of 187!
The rarified, ultra-advanced college in Munich, Germany, the Fortgeschrittene Universität für Analytik und Megamathematik, has concluded through extremely complex and innovative calculations, that the simple arithmetic equation, 2+2, actually does not equal 4.
Other Universities around the world are trying to duplicate the Munich analysis at this time, although no final verification has been reached as of yet.
German Math Professor Wolfgang Danzer insists,
"The numbers are correct. We have triple-checked
all of our calculations and it adds up".
So, if 2+2 doesn't equal 4, then what does it equal?
Using the newest form of what is called, "Hyper-Mega-Mathematics",
the answer arrived at is surprising, to say the least.
It turns out that 2+2 actually equals 13, according to this state-of-the-art
system of calculation.
Old Knowledge
Still think 2+2=4? Not any more.
Some people will undoubtedly be skeptical. However, the Fortgeschrittene Universität für Analytik und Megamathematik is universally respected, and their findings in other areas of Mega-Mathematics have been praised as furthering the range of human knowledge.
The Fortgeschrittene Universität für Analytik und Megamathematik of Munich, is considered to be
working at the apex of human knowledge, and as an academic institution, is revered worldwide.
Not to worry, however. The "old" arithmetic of 2+2=4 is still usable in everyday life, so you won't need to apply for a course in Hyper-Mega-Mathematics
just yet.
The new equation and math system is for cutting-edge science only.
Have no fear----"Hyper-Mega-Math" will not be taught in
regular schools in any foreseeable future.
Professor Wolfgang Danzer assures us, "This new Math will help open up new fields of science to calculations on a level never seen before, expanding human awareness beyond anything we can dream of now."
The new, corrected Hyper-Mega-Math equation of 2+2=13 and its
offshoots are said to be ideally suited to calculating things that never
could be calculated before.
These include the musical tastes of quasars, whether a proton is "male" or "female", how to tell if a black hole is "smiling" inside, or how much a hyper-charged sub-atomic particle likes pepperoni pizza.
"Hyper-Mega Mathematics will open up entire new universes of knowledge", according to Professor Danzer, and "human life will be forever changed.
The concept of 2+2=13 will lead humankind to a great leap forward."
Great Leap Forward
For Professor Danzer of the Fortgeschrittene Universität für Analytik und Megamathematik, there will be no resting on laurels.
"Our next project for Hyper-Mega-Math may actually show that water is not wet, although we haven't done the calculations yet, so it may indeed still turn out to be wet after all. But we shall see."
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Monday, August 13, 2018
Brutal ICE Crackdown on Undocumented Scandinavian Immigrants Intensifies
13-year old Tore Gudmenson,
who was badly beaten after he was separated from his parents
and locked in a crowded cell.
"Why do they hate us? Is it because we come from a Scandinavian country? Or is it just because we are blonde and blue-eyed?"
Janel Nilsson,
undocumented Swedish immigrant,
now in detention.
The well-known recent ICE crackdown on illegal European and Scandinavian immigrants
has reached levels of intensity that are shocking even to
some supporters of the agency.
All over America, undocumented Scandinavian immigrants are being rounded-up, sometimes strip-searched, and then hauled away after being arrested for lacking either proof of residency or citizenship in the US. Parents are being separated from children by the hundreds, and children are being locked up in cells under inadequate, or even, as some say, cruel conditions.
Undocumented Immigrants from the countries of Sweden,
Denmark, Norway, Finland, The Netherlands, and even, ironically, Iceland,
are seen as being especially targeted. As a result, critics of ICE have
accused The Agency of waging a "war on Scandinavian Immigrants."
The photo-essay below documents the plight, and some of the words, of a few of these immigrants, who came to America only to find work, or safety, or freedom from painful, oppressive aspects and institutions of their home countries like Single-payer healthcare, high wages and free education. Nearly all of them had never had any run-in with American Law Enforcement since arriving here to start new lives in this country,
albeit without Official Sanction.
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This Swedish illegal immigrant woman, identified only as, "Krista",
was severely beaten after her infant daughter was hauled away by officers.
She is currently incarcerated in an unknown location.
Freja Vestergaard, a Danish
illegal immigrant working as a bank-teller, is taken from her
workplace, and partially stripped for search, by ICE officers.
During her arrest, she was ridiculed and laughingly
called, "Goldilocks" as she was handcuffed.
Katrin Jónsdóttir, originally from Iceland,
Is roughly handled as she is taken by Ice officers in Cleveland. One officer
tries to discourage the photographer. Just prior, he was heard mocking her
nationality as she was handcuffed saying, "You won't be hearing any Bjork music in that cell you're going to, Blondie".
Rolfe Lehtonen, an undocumented alien from Finland
working as a golf pro, is arrested and prepared for detention
in an unspecified location. Lehtonen complained of
being punched several times by ICE officers for no reason,
before he was taken away.
Fashion-model-trainee Olga Svensson is hauled away by officer
after being snatched from her workplace by ICE officials.
She was not even allowed to change her clothes.
With their parents being held in a distant location,
These 2 undocumented and unnamed Finnish children
were held in a small cage for 12 days until being transferred
to a temporary foster home, pending deportation.
Reportedly, officers felt sorry for the kids, and fed them
Finlandia cheese from a local deli as a special treat
to keep their morale up.
This boy, identified only as, "Jonas" yells for water from his cell,
in which he had already been held for several weeks,
and in his rare case, alone.
These 2 Dutch sisters (names legally withheld)
attending a public school in Des Moines,
were taken from their junior high school
during lunchtime and held
in a separate location from their parents,
who were processed some 200 miles away
for no specified reason.
during her detention. "Kid's got a nasty mouth, she asks for it",
said one of the guards at her facility.
She is still there after nearly 3 months, while her father, who is
a crime suspect, and her only parent, is held for questioning.
Astrid Jonasson, who was brought to America from Sweden as a child, but never pursued documentation, languishes in her cell,
in which she lived for 5 months before deportation.
"This is more depressing than you could imagine.
And when I am sent back to Sweden, I will have no life there."
ICE officer Dick Pounder, adjusts his equipment before a raid
on a Swedish bakery. Says Dick, "Unfortunately, many of those
delicious pastries are made by illegal hands. We are not racist---We are
equal-opportunity incarcerators. Hey, it's those illegals who broke
the law in the 1st place."
ICE officer Zack Trench prepares for a raid in Solvang, California,
sometimes referred to as, "Little Denmark" for its high Danish population,
and its allegedly large number of Danish Illegals working there.
"The fact we go after, and sometimes need to beat or
rough-up defiant illegals with blonde hair
shows we at ICE are not racist at all", says Trench.
the recent raid on Solvang, cries out for her mother,
Mathilde, who was working illegally as a hotel manager,
along with her husband, Gustav, when both were apprehended.
Fortunately, she was one of the lucky ones, and was only
separated from her parents for about 3 weeks.
Finnish undocumented immigrant, Elke Tikkanen:
"In 6 weeks I will have my hearing and probably be sent back
to Finland, where I will be forced to participate in Finland's cruel
Single-Payer healthcare. Why is America refusing to give me asylum"?
Cocktail waitress Sonya Hedberg is pressed to the ground
during a routine weapons search, after being taken
from her workplace at an upscale lounge in Chicago, as
a crowd gathered nearby, filling the air with cries of,
"Blondie, go home" and "Go back to Russia"!
(Sonya was born in Sweden).
Later, Sonya was quoted as saying, "These officers enjoyed
arresting me, I could tell. I know I broke American Law,
but these officers are sadists."
Icelander Gunnar Sturluson is taken to the police wagon
by officers.
Said Sturluson:
"I understand I am here without proper papers,
but I am not an illegal person, because no one is an illegal person!"
Police suspicions were aroused by Gunnar's fair skin
and strawberry-blonde hair.
How long can this go on?
Badge of honor, or badge of horror ?

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Sunday, August 5, 2018
New CIA Chief Gina Haspel has Been Verified NOT To Be A Blood-Drinking Vampire
...............................................................................
EXONERATED, BUT SUSPICIONS REMAIN
For weeks, both before and after Haspel's nomination to the post of CIA Chief, rumors
have swirled around Washington that Haspel, on previous assignment as head of interrogation for the bureau, actually drank the blood of prisoners tortured by the CIA at certain unspecified "black sites" around the globe. Additional rumors have circulated around the beltway related to whistleblower disclosures that Haspel "enjoyed the taste of human flesh", especially from torture victims she had personally interrogated. Although the charges of Vampirism have been found to have no basis in fact, the other rumors have not been disproven nor confirmed, although discoveries in Ms. Haspel's office
do seem to bear out her unusual appetites.
It is now official----Blood tests confirm Gina Haspel is not a blood-drinking vampire.
Numerous reports that she sleeps in a taxpayer-bought
luxury coffin have been verified, however.
.............................................................................................................................................
Regarding the coffin, Haspel insists
"It's just for comfort; It's not a necessity".
FEISTY RESPONSES
When asked by lawmakers if she has ever consumed human blood, her response was a blithe,
"Well, wouldn't you like to know", and
"You need to stop watching those
silly Bela Lugosi movies."
In spite of her use of the Vulcan "Live long and prosper"
hand-sign from Star Trek,
Shaken lawmakers refused to press her further.
Blood is drawn for Haspel's blood test which has exonerated her of being a blood-drinking vampire.
Still, some observers "have their doubts", said
an unnamed government official.
Blood-fed?
Haspel, looking suddenly years younger and less gaunt than she had been
just a few days earlier during her congressional appearance.
The sudden change in her appearance only stoked the rumors further.
Big-Government Box
This super-luxurious, high-end gold coffin, where Haspel sleeps
each night, was paid for by taxpayers.
The Bill: $666-Thousand dollars.
The numerical amount also raised suspicions, as well as enraging
taxpayers and taxation activists.
Anti-tax activist Grover Norquist was said to be "beside himself"
with outrage over the purchase.
Items such as this, found in a back-closet of her office,
also raised suspicions (read label closely),
as well as a deli-prepared human
body part found in her refrigerator (see below).
PEDI-FILE?
Another disturbing find in Ms. Haspel's refrigerator. When
questioned about the item by intelligence officials, Haspel responded
sarcastically, "Maybe you ought to arrest singer Michael Franks
for writing the song, 'Popsicle Toes', first." Intimidated agents
never broached the topic again in their questioning.
UN-TOUCHABLE
Haspel has acknowledged supervising torture sessions, and destroying
evidence of dozens upon dozens of such sessions in a cover-up effort.
US Officials insist, this is no problem, since concerns that Haspel
was a blood-drinking vampire have been completely disproven.
As a result, Haspel will resume her duties without further questioning.
The concerns about her possible cannibalism have also been dismissed
as a mere harmless "fetish", as is her propensity for sleeping in a coffin----
More specifically, a coffin with a cost of 2/3 of a million dollars
to US taxpayers.
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Wednesday, August 1, 2018
Goldman-Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein To Be Replaced By Undocumented Immigrant Mega-Genius
...........................................................................
Big changes coming?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Goldman-Sachs will be installing
a former undocumented immigrant as replacement
for powerhouse CEO Lloyd Blankfein.
Diego Sandoval, only 25 years old, but owner of 5 PHD degrees from Stanford and Berkeley, and possessor of a reported IQ of 212, will begin his duties on next September 1st after Blankfein cleans out his desk and departs to spend more time with his family. Blankfein hopes to also, in his words,
"do some big-game hunting of endangered animals
in Africa and Asia,
especially Rhinos and Tigers, if I have my druthers".
STEPPING DOWN
Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman-Sachs since 2006, made a reported
salary of about $30-million per year, plus bonuses. His estimated worth is
in the vicinity of $1-billion.
Diego Sandoval, former undocumented immigrant, has been
labelled a "mega-genius" by scholars, and possesses 5 PHD's----
In Business, International Investment Law, Physics, Statistics
and Aztec Studies.
Goldman-Sachs officials insist they have taken care of all
arrangements regarding his work and residency status in the US, and
that his papers are now complete, pending his eventual citizenship.
as undocumented immigrants over 20 years ago. Reportedly,
they had to crawl through a 500-yard sewer tunnel filled with rats
to cross the border into Texas.
The Kings of Finance
Blankfein and other mega-bank CEOs
testify, and obfuscate with great finesse, before congress,
after they crashed the economy, with complete impunity, in 2008.
Can Sandoval fit this demanding mold?
HIGH-CLIMBER
One of Diego's hobbies is scaling high mountain peaks.
Here he is on the trail to the summit of Mt. Rainier in Washington,
a trek he took to celebrate his 3rd PHD several years ago.
He has achieved 2 more PHDs since.
One could say there is "bad" news and "good" news for Diego regarding Sandoval's new job at Goldman-Sachs.
The "bad" news is he will be paid just $12.67 per hour----The lowest pay of any CEO in America, and perhaps the world. The "good" news-----He will be working 80+ hours per week, so those dollars should really add up. He will also enjoy full medical benefits, except for dental.
Diego Sandoval, while still in grade school,
with his mother, who was fiercely devoted to her
son's education. Even by this early time, Diego
was already considered the top student in his school,
and was able to skip several grades. His teachers reportedly
"were in awe of him" and considered it an honor to have
had him as a student.
Diego Sandoval, with one of his myriad
academic honor awards.
"They ran out of awards to give him", said
one of his professors.
Diego's new workplace
Goldman-Sachs Building in Jersey City, NJ.
Says Blankfein, whose efforts were key in selecting Sandoval to replace him:
"US Business has been boosting its profits using
immigrant labor for decades now. We've previously used it on the lower levels of labor.
But now, with Diego, we'll be employing cheaper labor at the CEO level, in order to
save some pretty big money. And believe me, this young man has
what it takes to deliver the goods.
It's a no-brainer, when you think about it.
Immigrants really are the future,
at least until we have robots who can do the job."
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