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The rarified, ultra-advanced college in Munich, Germany, the Fortgeschrittene Universität für Analytik und Megamathematik, has concluded through extremely complex and innovative calculations, that the simple arithmetic equation, 2+2, actually does not equal 4.
Other Universities around the world are trying to duplicate the Munich analysis at this time, although no final verification has been reached as of yet.
"The numbers are correct. We have triple-checked
all of our calculations and it adds up".
So, if 2+2 doesn't equal 4, then what does it equal?
Using the newest form of what is called, "Hyper-Mega-Mathematics",
the answer arrived at is surprising, to say the least.
It turns out that 2+2 actually equals 13, according to this state-of-the-art
system of calculation.
Still think 2+2=4? Not any more.
Some people will undoubtedly be skeptical. However, the Fortgeschrittene Universität für Analytik und Megamathematik is universally respected, and their findings in other areas of Mega-Mathematics have been praised as furthering the range of human knowledge.
working at the apex of human knowledge, and as an academic institution, is revered worldwide.
Not to worry, however. The "old" arithmetic of 2+2=4 is still usable in everyday life, so you won't need to apply for a course in Hyper-Mega-Mathematics
just yet.
The new equation and math system is for cutting-edge science only.
regular schools in any foreseeable future.
Professor Wolfgang Danzer assures us, "This new Math will help open up new fields of science to calculations on a level never seen before, expanding human awareness beyond anything we can dream of now."
The new, corrected Hyper-Mega-Math equation of 2+2=13 and its
offshoots are said to be ideally suited to calculating things that never
could be calculated before.
These include the musical tastes of quasars, whether a proton is "male" or "female", how to tell if a black hole is "smiling" inside, or how much a hyper-charged sub-atomic particle likes pepperoni pizza.
"Hyper-Mega Mathematics will open up entire new universes of knowledge", according to Professor Danzer, and "human life will be forever changed.
The concept of 2+2=13 will lead humankind to a great leap forward."
For Professor Danzer of the Fortgeschrittene Universität für Analytik und Megamathematik, there will be no resting on laurels.
"Our next project for Hyper-Mega-Math may actually show that water is not wet, although we haven't done the calculations yet, so it may indeed still turn out to be wet after all. But we shall see."
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