All over America, an unprecedented number of
marriages and loving relationships
are coming apart instantly and violently for no apparent reason.
But US Intelligence now says: There is a reason--Putin.
The CIA has positively identified the cause----
A terrifying nerve-agent made in Russia.
The culprit:
NoLuvichok
Russian-made Nerve-agent NoLuvichock has been detected as the causative factor in thousands of sudden breakups across America, US Intelligence Agencies insist.
This deadly chemical is odorless, colorless and tasteless and cannot be detected without state-of-the-art laboratory testing.
But CIA labs have confirmed its use all over the United States in recent months, apparently dispersed by busy Russian agents intent on destroying American marriages and destabilizing loving relationships across the country.
The Garlic has obtained this hidden-camera photograph from the secret Russian chemical
weapons laboratory where NoLuvichok was developed.
To escape detection, the lab doubled as a fast-food spot--
"Vlad's Burgers" in Chelyabinsk, as evidenced via the hat worn by the lab worker on the left.
Courageous CIA inspectors do the Hully-Gully in a rare moment of levity during their grim and dangerous work, as they examine a site of possible contamination----Usually a location where a once-loving couple's quietude and bliss suddenly exploded into a vicious argument that led to a permanent, un-reconcilable breakup,
for no explicable reason.
A severely contaminated Max and Doris Crashauser--- Married blissfully for 26 years without the slightest disagreement or spat, they suddenly turned into hostile enemies
for life who have never even spoken to each other
since contamination.
The Crashausers, in happier times,
before contamination
by the dreaded NoLuvichok, which actually
altered their appearance, as well as
destroying their love for each other.
The Killer of Love.
Normal, healthy hormone/neuro-transmitters Oxytocin and Vasopressin, are destroyed by NoLuvichok, and instantly converted into vast amounts of raw Adrenalin, which floods the Thalamus Gland and triggers an instantly aggressive, and even hateful response.
Oxytocin--- Called "The Hormone Of Love"
Effects of Oxytocin
Vasopressin--The "Empathy" hormone
Effect of Vasopressin
The effects of NoLuvichok are concentrated in the human Thalamus
and Hypothalamus glands, where Oxytocin and Vasopressin
do their essential function of bonding people together.
NoLuvichok instantly breaks-down the 2 hormones into
astronomical levels of hyper-concentrated Adrenalin.
Vast amounts of Adrenalin trigger
the well-known and notorious
"fight or flight" syndrome,
which is known to be
devastating to love relationships.
can instantly turn this:
Into this:
US Intelligence Agent [name redacted]:
"We know for certain this chemical
is made only in Russia and nowhere else.
NoLuvichok is normally applied to doorknobs,
flower arrangements, Valentines Day
cards and gifts, chocolate hearts,
lingerie, edible underwear,
bondage paraphernalia,
or any item that might relate to
a romantic relationship.
Once contact is made
with the skin, the 'love-feelings' terminate,
and rage and conflict ensue.
It's as cruel and inhumane
as you can get."
Laboratory Analysts
Susan Mendez and Troy Louganis at the CIA's
NoLuvichok Task Force Lab.
"This substance is so insidious, most people
have no idea they've been contaminated ",
says Mendez. "It's funny,
I used to be really attracted to Troy,
but now I think he's a jerk."
Adds Louganis: "Yeah, leave it up to Putin
to want to kill love in America.
And this stuff just might
do the job for him, too."
Can America survive without love?
Could this be our future, on a mass-scale?
Can America survive Putin's attack on Love?
When asked by a foreign reporter whether the accusations
of NoLuvichok attacks
are founded in reality, Putin's response was:
"If you want to know who is attacking America's love and affection,
don't look in my direction."
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