Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Goldman-Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein To Be Replaced By Undocumented Immigrant Mega-Genius

...........................................................................

Big changes coming?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Goldman-Sachs will be installing 
a former undocumented immigrant as replacement
for powerhouse CEO Lloyd Blankfein. 

Diego Sandoval, only 25 years old, but owner of 5 PHD degrees from Stanford and Berkeley, and possessor of a reported IQ of 212, will begin his duties on next September 1st after Blankfein cleans out his desk and departs to spend more time with his family. Blankfein hopes to also, in his words, 
"do some big-game hunting of endangered animals 
in Africa and Asia, 
especially Rhinos and Tigers, if I have my druthers". 


STEPPING DOWN
Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman-Sachs since 2006, made a reported 
salary of about $30-million per year, plus bonuses. His estimated worth is
in the vicinity of $1-billion.


                                                               THE REPLACEMENT 
                                Diego Sandoval, former undocumented immigrant, has been 
                                labelled a "mega-genius" by scholars, and possesses 5 PHD's----
                                In Business, International Investment Law, Physics, Statistics 
                                and Aztec Studies. 
                                
                                Goldman-Sachs officials insist they have taken care of all 
                                arrangements regarding his work and residency status in the US, and 
                                that his papers are now complete, pending his eventual citizenship.

                                                                                                                                                          

                                Diego and his mother, Esmeralda, shortly after entering the US
                                as undocumented immigrants over 20 years ago. Reportedly, 
                                they had to crawl through a 500-yard sewer tunnel filled with rats 
                                to cross the border into Texas. 
       
                                               The Kings of Finance
                                     Blankfein and other mega-bank CEOs 
                                     testify, and obfuscate with great finesse, before congress, 
                                     after they crashed the economy, with complete impunity, in 2008. 
                                     Can Sandoval fit this demanding mold?



                                                             HIGH-CLIMBER
                                 One of Diego's hobbies is scaling high mountain peaks.
                                 Here he is on the trail to the summit of Mt. Rainer in Washington,
                                 a trek he took to celebrate his 3rd PHD several years ago. 
                                 He has achieved 2 more PHDs since.


One could say there is "bad" news and "good" news for Diego regarding Sandoval's new job at Goldman-Sachs.

The "bad" news is he will be paid just $12.67 per hour----The lowest pay of any CEO in America, and perhaps the world. The "good" news-----He will be working 80+ hours per week, so those dollars should really add up. He will also enjoy full medical benefits, except for dental.

                                         Diego Sandoval, while still in grade school,
                                     with his mother, who was fiercely devoted to her 
                                     son's education. Even by this early time, Diego 
                                     was already considered the top student in his school, 
                                     and was able to skip several grades. His teachers reportedly
                                     "were in awe of him" and considered it an honor to have
                                     had him as a student.                                                                                               
                                                               MAN  OF HONOR 
                                               Diego Sandoval, with one of his myriad 
                                               academic honor awards. 
                                               "They ran out of awards to give him", said 
                                               one of his professors.                                                                                      
                                                  Diego's new workplace
                            Goldman-Sachs Building in Jersey City, NJ.                                                                          

Says Blankfein, whose efforts were key in selecting Sandoval to replace him:
"US Business has been boosting its profits using
immigrant labor for decades now. We've previously used it on the lower levels of labor.
But now, with Diego, we'll be employing cheaper labor at the CEO level, in order to
save some pretty big money. And believe me, this young man has 
what it takes to deliver the goods. 

It's a no-brainer, when you think about it.
Immigrants really are the future, 
at least until we have robots who can do the job."


...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................










=======================================================================

No comments:

Post a Comment